At first glance, the word “asexual” seems to imply a total absence of sex drive, or perhaps a rigid, single-directional sexuality. Neither of those is true for me.
In fact, I possess a high libido.
What asexuality actually means in my life is that I experience sexual attraction outside traditional norms. The conventional triggers that drive attraction for most people—heavily rooted in physical appearance, surface-level chemistry, or shared hobbies—simply don’t carry the same weight for me.
That isn’t to say physical appearance has zero impact on me. It does, just not as a primary catalyst. Aesthetic appearance functions more as a filter than a magnet. I wouldn’t enter into an intimate relationship with someone I found physically unappealing, but at the same time, visual appeal alone is never enough to generate sexual desire on its own.
For me, real attraction is built on trust, respect, and deep intellectual connection. Those elements carry far more weight than superficial markers like physical appearance.
That fundamental truth applies regardless of gender. While I identify my sexual orientation as straight in the sense that I prefer intimacy with women, I view human connection as a spectrum and have shared positive experiences across genders. For me, intimacy is triggered by who someone is at their core, not just how they look or how society expects us to connect.
